Stronger Together: How Parents and Schools Can Partner for Student Success

We recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Missy Purcell. In our conversation, we looked at what drives her dedication and discussed the impact of effective intervention and the power of community in shaping literacy success. Whether you're a teacher seeking better strategies, a parent looking for hope, or a student finding your way, this conversation will inspire and equip you with the tools to move forward.

Missy holds a degree in middle school education with 15 + years of experience in the classroom, specializing in inclusion. She is both a speaker and a passionate advocate for the science of reading. After successfully advocating for her dyslexic son’s right to read, Missy devoted the bulk of her time volunteering to support countless families of kids with learning differences. 

Missy is co-founder of Gwinnett Advocates for Dyslexia, a grassroots organization that advocates for evidence-based instruction in Gwinnett County. Additionally, she serves as the Education Chair with Decoding Dyslexia Georgia, DDGA, which advocates for change at the state level. Recently, she co-founded The Science of Reading for Advocates, which aims to resource and equip leaders committed to ensuring every child can read. 

For many parents navigating the world of special education, frustration is an all-too-familiar feeling. Whether it’s struggling to get the school to recognize a child’s needs, dealing with ineffective interventions, or battling a lack of clear communication, the journey can be overwhelming. If you’ve ever found yourself throwing your hands up and saying, “I need help,” you’re not alone. 

Here are Some of the Most Common Frustrations Families Share and Why They Matter:

1. Schools Aren’t Listening

Many parents start their journey with a positive relationship with their child’s school. They trust the educators and administrators to recognize and address their child’s needs. However, time and again, parents find that despite their repeated concerns, the school isn’t truly listening. They may be reassured that everything is fine when, in reality, their child continues to struggle.

A child’s Individualized Education Program (IEP) or 504 Plan should be designed to provide the right support. Yet, some parents find that while meetings are amicable, real action is lacking. They see little to no progress, despite ongoing conversations and reassurances from the school.

2. Intervention Without Accountability

Another common frustration is the lack of meaningful interventions. Some parents are shocked to learn that their child has been receiving interventions for years without an IEP. Instead, the child remains stuck in the Multi-Tiered System of Supports (MTSS) process, with no real documentation or data to show progress. Without strong baseline data and ongoing progress monitoring, interventions can become a waiting game where students are “waiting to fail” rather than receiving effective support.

Parents often don’t realize until much later that they were never provided with clear information about what intervention was being used, how progress was being measured, or whether it was actually working. This results in years of lost learning opportunities.

3. The Emotional Toll on Children and Families

When a child struggles in school without effective support, the emotional impact can be profound. Parents see it firsthand the anxiety, the frustration, the daily after-school meltdowns. Once happy, joyful children may become withdrawn, angry, or anxious. They may refuse to do homework, cry over seemingly small issues, or lash out because they feel overwhelmed and unheard.

Parents know something is wrong. They see their child struggling to read, write, or keep up with peers in math. However, without the right language to advocate for change, they often feel stuck in an endless cycle of meetings with little action.

4. Lack of Teacher Training and Expertise

Another major concern is the inconsistency in teacher training. For example, children with dyslexia require structured, evidence-based interventions. However, many educators receive only a brief overview, sometimes just a few days of training, on how to teach students with dyslexia. This is simply not enough.

Quality instruction requires specialized knowledge and experience. Teachers working with students who have specific learning disabilities should have completed rigorous training, including practicum experiences that prepare them to implement interventions with integrity. Without this expertise, children remain in ineffective programs that fail to meet their needs.

5. The Need for Data-Driven Decisions

Data is critical in special education, yet many parents report that they aren’t provided with meaningful data on their child’s progress. If a child is in an intervention program, parents should have access to clear, consistent data that shows whether the approach is working. Unfortunately, too often, decisions are made based on assumptions rather than solid evidence.

Effective teaching is both a science and an art. Educators need to be adaptive, diagnostic, and prescriptive in their approach, tailoring instruction based on what a child actually needs. This requires ongoing assessment and a commitment to using data to drive decisions. Without this, children can spend years in programs that do little to close learning gaps.

6. Building Positive and Productive IEP Meetings

While frustrations are common, it is possible to have a positive and productive IEP meeting. The key is collaboration, open-mindedness, and a commitment to focusing on the child’s needs above all else. A great IEP meeting happens when everyone at the table comes with an open mind and a willingness to listen.

Sometimes, school teams can become defensive, particularly when parents raise concerns about violations or poor implementation. Acknowledging that mistakes happen and working toward solutions can shift the dynamic from conflict to cooperation. One advocate shared a powerful experience of transforming a contentious meeting into a successful one by requesting a fresh start, new evaluations, updated data, and a focus on what the child truly needed as a learner.

Another key takeaway from productive meetings is ensuring that all relevant professionals, occupational therapists, speech-language pathologists, special education teachers, and psychologists, are involved in the process. When a child’s learning disability is language-based, for example, a speech-language pathologist’s expertise is critical to developing an effective intervention plan.

Additionally, goals should be built around a child's needs, not compliance. Instead of framing goals around behavior and classroom compliance, effective IEPs focus on what a child needs to succeed. For instance, rather than saying a child must complete a task a certain way, the goal should focus on ensuring the child has the right tools and accommodations to be successful.

What Can Parents Do?

If you’re experiencing these frustrations, know that you are not alone. Here are some steps you can take:

• Document Everything: Keep detailed records of your child’s progress, including emails, meeting notes, and assessment data.
• Ask for Data: If your child is in an intervention program, request clear data on their progress and the specific methods being used.
• Seek Outside Support: Whether it’s an advocate, educational consultant, or special education attorney, having someone who understands the system can help you communicate your concerns effectively.
• Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with special education laws, including the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act.
• Push for Training and Accountability: Schools should invest in high-quality training for educators to ensure that children receive the evidence-based instruction they need.

Parents, you are the most important advocate for your child. You know your child better than anyone else, and your concerns are valid. If you feel like your child is not making progress, trust your instincts. Continue to push for the support and education your child deserves. Special education should not be about waiting to fail, it should be about providing the right support at the right time to ensure every child reaches their full potential.

When schools and parents work together with curiosity and a willingness to learn from one another, IEP meetings can become productive, collaborative experiences. The goal should always be to focus on what the child needs as a learner, not just compliance, but real educational growth. Staying open to learning, keeping the child’s best interests at heart, and ensuring proper data-driven interventions can lead to real progress and success.

For the full discussion, check out our latest episode of the Together in Literacy podcast. If you like what you hear, don’t forget to rate, leave a positive review, and subscribe!

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